When I finished my song and opened my eyes, there was pin drop silence in the auditorium for about a second, after which a thunder of claps greeted me. My eyes glazed when I laid them on the set of people from my family looking at me in proud admiration, giving me a standing ovation. “You rocked, my Lady Gaga!” exclaimed an excited and overjoyed Mili as she engulfed me in warm hug when I stepped down from the stage. ”
I wanted to sing…like a lark! Freely – without a single fear or worry in the world. In full spontaneity of my free-spirited nature. I usually did. In the shower, on my walks, but mostly to myself and with a sense of self-restraint. Years back I had picked the courage to sing in front of my family members at a relative’s wedding. But from the corner of my eyes I had noticed their jeering smiles and suppressed giggles. So, I cut it short. No one said a word about it then. But after we were out of the wedding, they pulled my leg mercilessly for it. Not that I sang too badly. I probably drifted off from the tune for a bit, but no, it wasn’t that bad. I just needed a bit of coaching and practice and I could be as good as the best of seasoned singers.
Coming from a typically orthodox Indian family, elders from my family often discouraged their children to be associated with anything that had to do with singing and dance in any form. The only reason stated to us was that people from decent families do not sing and dance! I failed to see their logic, until I was old enough make sense of their absurdly distorted thoughts on this topic. Apparently back in olden days, music and dance in India was associated with prostitution. Thus, the apathy towards it. What a pity? To be denied the natural need of indulging in something as soulfully joyous as music. It was criminal. But I never mustered the courage to fight it.
A good number of years later, one fine day I happened to be in a good mood and in my state of happiness I absentmindedly ended up singing to myself in the kitchen. Only, I was a little louder than usual. This time even before I could finish, the ladies in the kitchen promptly shushed me up, saying it would disturb people in the house and also loudly wondered what neighbors would make out of it. I shook my head in frustration and disappointment. What else could one expect from in-laws but scorns and taunts?
That incident shut me up for a long time after that. I assumed that I probably was not so good after all. I consciously suppressed my need to sing freely. Until one fine day a few years later, Mili heard me singing in the shower. I wasn’t loud but somehow she had heard it. She had stuck her ear to the door to hear more. And when I stepped out of the shower, she was all smiles. “Woman…how come I’ve never heard you sing before?” she demanded, feigning a sulk. When I confided in her about my experiences in the past, she listened to me intently. After I finished she was lost deep in thought. Suddenly she broke out, “Listen, I have a plan.”
Fifteen days later, I was dressed in the best of my silk saris with a string of fresh jasmine flowers around my hair bun. I stepped onto the stage with the confidence of a pro and started singing spontaneously, unperturbed by the astounded expressions of my clueless family who sat in the audience unprepared for the epiphany that awaited them. I sang with gay abandon, from my heart with my eyes closed, unmindful of how people were reacting. It was just me and the strains of melody…lost in a world of our own. It was an old classic number…one of my favorites.This unfolding event was the last thing my old husband, my two sons and daughter-in-laws had expected when they came to attend the annual function at the school. The school where my eight year old grand daughter Mili studied. After learning about my passion to sing, Mili had secretly arranged for her music teacher who lived close to our house, to train me to give this performance at her school’s annual concert. I would leave the house on pretext of taking a walk and go for my music classes secretly without the knowledge of others at home. I diligently took the coaching for fifteen days non-stop and ensured that I made the most of it. After all, I couldn’t let down the confidence that my sweetheart Mili had placed in me.
Four generations of resistance later, I could finally get rid of the pebbles in my shoes – pebbles that existed in the form of the rigid of thoughts of my ancestors, my own generation and my descendants. Today, decades later, thanks to my darling granddaughter who helped me hone my passion and give it an outlet, at the ripe age of seventy – I had arrived.
Linking this to Day 4 of UBC July 2014, NaBloPoMo July 2014 and Write Tribe for the Wednesday Prompt this week which involves writing about the ‘Pebble/s in my shoe.’ Since I have chosen to write a collection of short stories for UBC this time, I’ve used the prompt ‘Pebble/s in my shoe’ to write a short story around it.
46 Responses to Freeing The Song Within Me
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About Author
Vinodini
Vinodini is a writer, novelist, and design professional. She has worked in the retail sector as a visual merchandiser and a fashion stylist for various well-known brands. She is a published author with an epistolary novel to her credit. She has also contributed various pieces published in anthologies, websites, and a coffee table book. She writes content on a range of topics for various domestic and international brands. This blog is an amalgamation of her thoughts, experiences, and pieces of fiction woven in her mind which find themselves translated into narrations here.
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Your post doesn't stop to amaze. The more I read, the more i like it.
Have been following your UBC posts since Day 1 – its great.
Loved the last phrase – "At 70 – I had arrived"
Thanks Vyoma. That is such a good thing to say!
I'm glad you like my posts 🙂
Love your posting. Thanks for sharing. I love the Rumi quote: one of my favourites. I just learned that the Sikh tradition was based on singing, the devotion of music and singing to make a long story short. That is in part what your posting reminded me of. I am glad you overcame your fear of singing in public. It happens to too many people. Good for you! 🙂 <3
Elly…this isn't my story! I'm not seventy yet, nor do I have a grand daughter. It is a fictional piece. Guess you missed the last line of this post.
I'm not too familiar with Sikh traditions to comment on them.
Thank you for sharing a wonderful post.
I like singing, but I know I am not very good at it. I wish I could learn to sing better.
Romi @ Letters from the Land of Cherry Blossoms
Romi, thank you so much. Yeah, often we're not too good at some things but we still like doing them. I do hope you go ahead and learn to sing. Its never too late 🙂
Lovely blog, singing is a gift we all have it's whether we are in tune but I like to sing even though I do it not very well lol x
Rachel, the fact that you like doing it is what matters…rest just fall in place if you're passionate in following it.
Thank you. I loved your blog post for today as well.
What a heart-warming post. It is never too late to do what the heart longs for 🙂 Kudos to the little Mili who saw what her grandma really longed for and helped her "arrive" at the ripe age of seventy! Nice way to weave in the 'Pebble in the shoe' prompt too.
Thank you Beloo. Indeed, its never too late to follow your heart. I'm happy you liked the story 🙂
Oh, what a heartwarming and lovely story.. Never too late to follow our passion is it? Wonderful portrait:-)
Hey thanks Eli! Yes, its never too late to learn and do what your heart wants you to do 🙂
Vinodini, I came in touch with you very recently. In this short period I can frankly say that you are a genius.Beautiful story!!
Thank you Usha ma'am! What a compliment?! Coming from you, this comment made my day 🙂
I'm so glad that you like the things I write.
Moving story…lovely…
Thanks Chaitali 🙂
I love singing too. And the shower is a great place to sing.
Oh yeah Suzy, the shower is an awesome place to sing 🙂
Better late than never…it feels good to do what your heart says without any pebbles in the shoes! Great write!
Thank you Aditi! Yeah, its never too late to follow your heart.
Vinodini this post felt very near and dear to my heart. So many folks get their creativity stifled or squashed by conventions, traditions and social expectations. Your post today is very provocative. I'm sure it will make people revisit the artistic expression inside of them, just waiting to get out. Maybe some will even give it a chance to blossom.
Stephanie, you're so right. A lot many people don't get the courage to follow their passion just fearing the reactions of opinionated people around them. My heart goes out for such people. Only we know how suffocating it is to live such an incomplete life.
I'm glad this post resonated with your thoughts. And like you said, I do hope it inspires a few to break the shackles and live their dream.
I was wondering… how come you have a grandchild.. 😀
Lovely story…. hope we have more kids like Milli… 🙂
He he Sheetal, I did add a line below the post saying it was a fictional story I wove around a prompt.
Yeah, there are a lot of Milis in today's world. The kids these days are far more advanced in their thoughts and actions.
beautiful 🙂 glad she broke free of the chains of others' expectations and jyst let loose her musical joy. lovely story 🙂
Thanks Leo! Sometimes you just got to do it:)
When I begin reading your posts I think I know the plot and the characters until a spicy twist puts me offtrack. Great job with the narration. Life always gives us opportunities to identify our pebbles and overcome them. Loved it 🙂
Thanks Eloquent! I'm glad my stories don't get too predictable.
Life does give you a lot of opportunities. Only lucky few grab it!
Wonderful character!
I love teaching kindergartners- I can sing (and not terribly well), and they chime in right along with me. Together, we sound wonderful!
Aww…I'm sure your kids and you must sound awesome Michaele! Sometimes its not the technique but the spirit with which we do a task is what matters. And kids sure are a spirited bunch 🙂
What a beautiful story! I loved reading this post. It takes courage to moved beyond the barriers and naysayers, but the end result of doing so is always inspiring <3
Hey thanks Jodi! Yeah, it does take courage but it sure is worth breaking those barriers to follow your passion.
What a beautiful story! I loved reading this post. It takes courage to moved beyond the barriers and naysayers, but the end result of doing so is always inspiring <3
Amazing! Day by your stories are getting better 🙂 Superb 🙂
Thanks Reema! I want you to keep coming back for more 🙂
A beautiful heart warming post 🙂
Thanks Renu. Great to see you after a long time 🙂
What a lovely story, Vinodini. At first, I thought it was your story! Only halfway through did I realize that it was fiction. You have written it so well. I hope a lot of people decide to get rid of their pebbles after reading this on!
Thanks Aathira. Thank god that I mentioned at the end of the post that it was a fictional story woven around a prompt. Else most people reading this would have assumed that I'm a 70 year old granny 😉
Wonderful story. Glad she finally ascended the stage. Better late than never 🙂
Thanks Embark…its never too late to do things you love to do 🙂
Awesome. Simply awesome! We need more people like Mili to help us and show us the way to take the pebbles from our shoes. Very inspiring and lovely story, Vinodini! ♥
Thank you Shilpa! There's so much for us to learn from kids like Mili 🙂
You just warmed my heart with this post. We can all do with a Mili in our lives, to prop us up when we feel down. Touched my soul here, Vinodini!
Thank you Shailaja! Wish there were enough Milis around us to boost our morale.
Your little Mili is your mentor prodding and building confidence in you. God bless he.