This letter comes from someone who loved you first of all even before you came into this world. Hence I feel this is one emotion we surely need to touch upon. I still cannot forget the day the nurse brought your face in front of mine. That moment of connect between us was magical. It seems to have got recorded vividly in my memory like a video. The first look you gave me was a confused frown. I was amused to see the mix of emotions on your face. After that surge of emotion everything changed for me in that very instant. Ever since then no other kind of love can replace the one I have for you, my child.
As you’re growing you might be discovering the myriad shades of this emotion. You understand that the kind of love you share with your parents, grandparents, cousins and other members of your family is so different from the kind of bond you have with your friends. Some of the best forms of love are not necessarily the romantic kinds. I still think fondly about how much love our pet labrador Roger gave us while he was still alive. He would wait diligently for you outside the washroom every time you went for your bath. Such was his love for you that he couldn’t bear to have you out of sight even for those few moments. It was love in its purest and most unconditional form. There are some bonds that are beyond friendships and relationships, yet there is deep affection in such relations. Notice how you started getting fond of your childhood friend’s dad in the neighbourhood. You still go and spend lazy sunday mornings chatting with him in his backyard despite the fact that your friend has left for her further studies abroad long back. Acknowledge, nurture and cherish these kind of unexplainable bonds with all your love coz they don’t come by easy.
Everything seems to be going good till things start getting confusing when you enter adolescence. Gone are the days when you used to hate girls. Suddenly, now you crave for their attention. I am glad you’re not one of those boys who wants to have a girlfriend just to fit in with others around you who are dating or so that you could flaunt her amongst your friends. A woman deserves much more respect than be treated like a trophy to be shown off. Although, there would be times you wish for that one person who loves you and accepts you for what you are. If ever that happens expect the whole experience to be heavily laced with attraction. So much so, that you might fool yourself into mistaking an infatuation for love. Bear in mind that infatuation and attraction can happen instantly. Whereas, love takes time to seep in. Love at first sight is another name for infatuation.
We’ve been talking about this for a while now, ever since you have grown to understand the dynamics of attraction. While you’re too young to get into a deeper relationship, at your age you should be focusing on meeting different kinds of people and understanding yourself better through those interactions. If you prefer to call it dating, keep it that way. I would call the whole dating game as two people getting to know each other.
The kind of love that you should wait for should come with understanding the person on a deeper level other than just superficial attraction that dies out even before you realise it. Sometimes, the feelings that you have could be one-sided. Also, there could be times when either of you change into different people and you no longer relate to each other. Do not let such an experience let you down. Remember I have said this before, unless you love yourself, you will not be able to love others. Understand that some things are not meant to be. In which case there is a larger picture to it and someone far more interesting is waiting up the block to appear in front of you to complete your life. Love is a beautiful emotion. Wait for the right person and you’ll know for yourself.
It is natural to develop feelings for someone you grow to be fond of. But at this stage I would urge you not to evaluate those feelings too much. This is the time to be carefree, to mingle and first understand what you want from life. When you’re still busy discovering yourself, how would you have the clarity of what the other person is all about? Hence, for time being enjoy the company of a wide variety of people. Get to know them better. Find out what makes them tick. Does it excite you? Do your vibes match? What is it that works for you? Is she as good as your mum? 😉 In time you will know what you want from life and from the person who deserves a special place in your life.
And when time comes for that right person to walk into your life, keep this in engraved in your mind and heart forever:
‘Love is like a flowing river. Do not expect it to gush with the same intensity as it started out with. With times it will calm down into a pool of placid waters. This period of placidity is mature love that transitions into deep mutual concern, with the comfort of complete acceptance and assurance of what each of you mean to each other.’
Infinite affection and warm bear hugs to my one and only.