Nurturing Confidence #AtoZChallenge

Dear Son

I hope my letters are not getting to be heavy doses of gyan for you. Even if they are, you have no choice but to read them coz your mum will say what she has to say (as usual!). 😛 In this letter I will talk about that one quality that either makes you or breaks you. Confidence.

I have seen you evolve from an awkward nerdy boy to a confident young man who puts forth his thoughts with an air of assured knowledge and who questions every logic instead of blindly believing them on face value. A quality that makes me proud of you, yet intimidates me at times, coz I need to have my facts in place before I present them to you. Gone are the days I could get away with cooing childish gibberish into your ears to convince you to do something. While I admire the way you have moulded yourself into a self-assured personality, I would also advise to you be aware of the fact that it is easy at times to slip into a phase of overconfidence if you do not make a conscious attempt to balance it well. You have experienced this while appearing for some of your examinations in the past. The day you are overconfident in a certain subject is when you tend to goof up. Whereas, a calculated kind of confidence always helps you analyse things clearly and makes you perform better.

In future, you might face different situations where your confidence might not be the same or might waver, which is quite natural. After all we are humans and no one can be perfect all the time. In such scenarios my only advice to you would be to face the situation without running away from it. We tend to escape from things that make us uncomfortable or we’re not confident about. Try, try and try till you master it. If you master it, you will be motivated to take up other challenges. And suppose, you’re not able to master it, you will never regret for not having tried.

Remember, how I keep telling you about how I was in my school days? I wasn’t really an introvert but I wasn’t the kind who would speak up in a large group. I would prefer one on one conversations with people I was comfortable with. If I were to be asked to speak or perform in public I would chicken out. But somewhere along the way things changed because I consciously wished to break out of that pattern. I watched, observed, learned from people of different ages and from different walks of life. My art college days facilitated that to a large extent. Years later, I was addressing a crowd of fashion students of a degree course to teach them the nuances of fashion even without a proper academic qualification for the same! And, did I do well? Ask my students. I am still mentoring some of them after all these years. 🙂

Observe and learn from calculated risk takers. They are quite a few self-motivated people who can inspire you in many ways. Also remember that there’s no dearth of people who try to induce you with self-doubt. Steer clear of such company. Let nobody tell you otherwise. These kind of people not only pull you down but at times try to climb up by using your fall as a stepping stone. That reminds me of the time I had joined my first job. Someone close to me had claimed that I wouldn’t last in the job for more than ten days due my fickle-mindedness. I lasted in that job for over three years and went on to working on different job assignments in various companies for over thirteen years thereafter. The thing is, I could have got demotivated by that one comment but I chose to take it up as a challenge and break out of the mould that people had come to cast me in. The ones who genuinely want you to succeed will cheer you to brave the odds and try to boost your confidence.

However, last but not the least, confidence is an inner job that grows when you nurture it with your own efforts. It comes with practice and self-motivation. If you have the drive for it, you will go out there and take the bull by its horns! And, I know you have it in you, my child. Go out and claim it with all the confidence you have – the world is yours!

Love
Ma

My theme for this year’s ‘Blogging from A-Z Challenge,’ is a set of 26 open ‘Letters to my Son’ from me that I will be writing throughout April. Read more about my theme here.