This year brought about a transformation in me. After a series of hits and misses last year, 2020 brought with it a placid calm. A kind of realization seeped through that only comes after you have traveled staggering miles and endured quite a bit of weathering to accept that this too had to be a part of your journey. And the journey goes on. The destination keeps changing, but time and again one needs to pause, reflect and look back before heading up the path ahead.
Sometimes you put in so much effort to get the desired results in your life that at the end of it, you realize that what you’re left with was simply not worth the struggle. Unless you’re passionate about what you’re doing, then it’s a different story. But when you’re doing something for mere survival, at times the quality of survival gets diluted to the extent that you start questioning the need to put up with such an ordeal.
The specific experiences I am referring to, are far too many to fit into one post and are actually good enough to make a fat book, which I’ve started to write. But I could share my takeaways from these instances that I feel would probably help some of us who go through such questioning times. So, here are a few of them:
-When things don’t go your way, it’s not always because you didn’t do well. Untoward things can happen despite our best-laid plans. Let go and start again, this time with a different approach.
-Listen and understand what everyone has to say to you, but do what your instincts tell you to. Oftentimes we know the answers subconsciously, but we refuse to accept them on a conscious level. Our instincts are the ones guiding us through this complex maze of beliefs and disbeliefs.
-Nothing lasts forever, although it might seem neverending. Everything on this earth comes with an expiry date, that includes situations and challenges.
-Comparing yourself with others is a killer! Although it is a natural human tendency to constantly evaluate and compare with others, it helps to remind ourselves that every finger on our hand is different yet useful in its own way. Love yourself for the way you are – flaws and imperfections included.
-And lastly, know how much is too much. Each of us is equipped with a different degree of tolerance. Just because the one next to you is still pulling through it, that doesn’t mean you need to do the same. Learn to recognize when you’ve crossed your scales of endurance and the exact point where you need to stop. In that moment of epiphany, do yourself a favor and hit the brakes. Jump off the vehicle if you may and bid the bumpy ride a happy goodbye! Some roads are best left not traveled.
You might regret taking the sudden detour for some time, but after things settle down a bit, you’ll understand how important it was to take that leap of faith, to look forward to the next adventure in your life! So, sit back and absorb the nothingness of today, coz’ tomorrow is going to be another day that unfolds a fresh new chapter in your life.
Such an insightful post. I am glad I read this. Resonated with me on many levels. How have you been? If I remember right your son was off to college the last time we interacted. Keep writing. Would love to hear your thoughts ☺️
Thanks for stopping by, Meha. Glad my thoughts resonated with you. I’ve been good, hope the same with you. Yeah, I guess we did connect when my son had just left for university. It’s been close to 3 years since…wow…time flies! I’ve been writing all this while but have not been doing it on the blog for a while now. Intend to get regular now. See you around. 🙂
That picture made me laugh so much Vini 😊 Thanks for that.
Love the last para the most – jump off the vehicle as some rides are best not taken. So so agree with this one and this is the one thing that’s the bane of my existence. I tend to often be unkind to myself when I see how much stuff others are doing.
Thanks for writing this post and all the best with the book- if this is any indication, it’s going to be a Wowza…
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Hey, thanks Shalz! I’m happy that the pic made you laugh! Isn’t life a bit like that…you keep pushing your head far into trouble till you actually realize what you’ve been doing? You’re a very enterprising person yourself and I don’t think you should let what others do affect you. Just focus on your game…you’re doing just fine!
And yeah, the book is happening…but at its own pace. Thanks for your best wishes. I do hope I’m able to finish it soon. 🙂
What an insightful post, Vinodini! I really like the point about understanding how much we can tolerate and knowing when to stop. And loved the photograph at the end! Gave me a good laugh.
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Thanks, Shinjini. Knowing yourself is so important. I guess you understand your toleration levels only with each passing experience. That pic is a good reminder to stop before its too late! 😉
So true, Vinodini. This happens so many times that we try hard to achieve something but destiny doesn’t let it happen. Maybe, that is not meant for us. It is hard to accept and go on but we do. That’s what life is all about.
I agree, Geethica, sometimes destiny has its own plans. No matter how hard you try things happen only when they are meant to happen. But well, that really shouldn’t stop us from learning from the experience and moving ahead.
Two years ago, life gave me such jolt…the lessons you shared here are precisely what I learned from it all.
Nothing is permanent–this is what I keep reminding myself every time I am either happy or sad. It does feel neverending when the going gets tough, but it does end. Gosh, these are the very words I wrote for myself back then! We so think alike, V!
I hope the new adventure life brings your way brings along with it happy moments and a lot of peace. Peace is the only thing that matters at the end of the day, right? We just realize it pretty late in life.
I told you, two Geminis do think alike! 😉 I hope the situation you went through in the past has made you much stronger today. Life is but a neverending cycle of ups and downs. How we react and cope with these highs and lows is what defines us.
Thanks for your best wishes! I am optimistic about the future and hopeful that the next adventure is better than the best. 😀 Hugs right back, S!
To the point and so relevant! And that photo… made me smile.
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Thanks, Damyanti. That photo was meant to make you smile at the end of this very intense topic. 🙂
Can relate to so much you have shared here. I have not quite reached the level of calm you have, but I have stopped living in denial, and am working towards reaching there.
Love the photo. It’s so symbolic in a way – knowing how far to go. 😀
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I guess you reach that level of calm only after certain experiences. I am glad you haven’t faced any of those as yet, Shantala. It certainly helps to accept things as they are and move forward, which I feel you have managed to do. The photo actually was an afterthought but I felt it was apt for this post! 🙂
Excellent tips, especially the one about not comparing ourselves to others. That usually leads to self-doubt and low self-esteem. Sounds like you’re in a great place for 2020! And with your sense of humour intact, going by the photo. 😀
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Thanks, Debbie! Yeah, 2020 sure sounds promising to me. I agree with you on the self-doubt and low self-esteem part which comes with comparisons. Definitely not required. I’ve always believed in humor as the best antidote for most situations, so yes, that stays with me no matter what!